Body Language Essentials. Mastering the Unspoken Language. The Art of Speaking Without Saying A Word.

Mastering the Unspoken Language
Be aware of the body language messages you are sending to other—and those that are being sent back—because, just like a picture, your actions are worth a thousand words.

Speaking Without Saying A Word: Internal Messaging
Following is a list of internal messages that may be sent and the body language associated with each.

1. Confidence and Authority
 Holding hands behind back with chin thrust forward
 Proud, erect body stance
 Continuing eye contact
 Smiling inwardly
 Tipping back in a chair
 Steepling (the higher the hands the greater the confidence)

2. Rejection and Doubt
 Touching and rubbing the nose
 Squinting or rubbing eyes
 Arms and legs crossed
 Cleaning throat
 Hand rubbing or ear tugging
 Raising an eyebrow

3. Boredom and Indifference
 Head in hand
 Drooping eyelids
 Slouching
 Tapping of foot or fingers
 Feet swinging
 Bland stares
 Little eye contact
 Slack lips

4. Reassurance
 Pinching the fleshy part of the hands
 Gently rubbing or caressing some personal object such as a ring, watch, or necklace

5. Openness
 Open hands
 Unbuttoned shirt collar
 Taking coat off
 Moving closer
 Leaning forward
 Uncrossed arms and legs

6. Evaluation
 Sitting in front of chair with upper torso projected forward
 Slightly tilted head
 Hand to cheek gesture; head is often supported by the hand
 Stroking the chin or pulling on beard

7. Defensiveness
 Rigid body
 Arms or legs crossed tightly
 Minimal eye contact with occasional sideways glance
 Darting glances
 Pursed lips
 Head down with chin against chest
 Fists clenched
 Leaning back in chair

8. Acceptance
 Spreading hands held to chest (for men)
 Moving closer to the other person
 Head nodding forward and smile

9. Critical Evaluation
 Body drawn back
 One hand on cheek
 Chin in palm with index finger along side of nose or face and remaining fingers under mouth

10. Suspicion and Secrecy
 Failing to make eye contact or resisting glances
 Glancing sideways at you by turning the body slightly away
 Rubbing or touching the nose
 Squinting or peering over glasses

11. Frustration
 Tightly clinched hands
 Hand wringing
 Rubbing back of neck
 Controlled, short breathing
 Blind staring
 Running hands through hair
 Stamping a foot
 Pacing

12. Nervousness
 Clearing throat
 Hand-to-mouth movements
 Covering mouth when speaking
 Darting eyes or little eye contact
 Twitching lips or face
 Playing with objects and fidgeting
 Shifting weight while standing
 Tapping fingers and pacing
 Plucking at collar or ringing neck with finger inside shirt collar
 Incongruent laugh

13. Controlled Anger
 Wrists gripped behind the back
 Crossed and locked ankles
 Fists clenched
 Pupils contracted
 Lips closed or pursed

14. Enthusiasm
 Small upper or inward smile
 Erect body stance
 Hands open; arms extended
 Eyes wide and alert
 Lively and bouncy

15. Anger
 Body rigid
 Fists clenched
 Lips closed and held in a tight thin line
 Continued eye contact
 Squinting of eyes (sometimes)
 Flaring of nostrils

16. Readiness
 Leaning forward in a chair in an open posture
 Hands possibly placed mid-thigh
 Relaxed, but alive
 Facial expression bright
 Standing with hands on hips, feet slightly spread

Body Language Essentials. Mastering the Unspoken Language. The Art of Speaking Without Saying A Word.