How to Balance Your Life and Work Effectively. The Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual dimensions of Living.

Balancing Life and Work

Is your life out of balance? Do you spend more time at work than you would like? Do you concentrate too much on meeting everyone else's needs? How do your own needs get met?

There are four aspects of living that need your attention: the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual dimensions. Paying too little attention to any one of them will create the feeling of being out of sync with yourself. Appropriate attention to each dimension will give you the power to find the right mix of priorities and actions for creating a balance between life and work. When you're in balance, you are more creative and more productive. Listed below are some actions you can take in each of the dimensions that will assist you in creating more balance between work and life:

1. Your physical self at work:
 Take frequent breaks.
 If you find you are sitting down a lot, stand up and move around approximately every 15 minutes.
 If you're on your feet, wear comfortable shoes, stretch your back and legs, and sit down periodically.
 Invest in an ergonomically correct work area.
 Take time for well-balanced meals.

2. Your physical self in life:
 Exercise.
 Rest and relax your body.
 Get the appropriate amount of sleep you need.
 Eat nutritious foods. —Refrain from smoking
 If you drink alcohol, do so in moderation.

3. Your emotional self at work:
 Monitor the emotions you feel.
 Take time to process what you observe.
 Refrain from dumping your feelings on someone else, especially when
 you're feeling angry.
 Take a break before dealing with an emotionally charged situation so that you can respond in an appropriate manner.
 At the end of the working day, release all your concerns so that you can be ready for time outside of work. —Leave work at work.

4. Your emotional self in life:
 Take time for yourself daily.
 Meditate, commune with nature, or read inspirational material.
 Sit and do nothing.
 Become comfortable with who you are outside of your title and occupation.

5. Your mental self at work:
 Plan your work and your time.
 Look for ways to eliminate time-bandits by using technology, unclut-tering your office, and saying "no" to requests that don't fit in with your master plan. Set reasonable schedules for project completion.
 Delegate any work you don't really need to do yourself.

6. Your mental self in life:
 Schedule family and personal activities.
 Unclutter your home.
 Let go of perfectionist tendencies about how things should be.
 Set goals that allow you to discover yourself.
 Pursue a variety of interests unrelated to work.

7. Your spiritual self at work:
 Align yourself as truthfully as possible with the organizational direction.
 Reflect daily on your personal goals and behavior.
 Consider whether you're on the most appropriate path for you.
 Determine whether your daily activity is aligned with what you truly want to accomplish.

How to Balance Your Life and Work Effectively. The Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual dimensions of Living.

Questions That Work—How to Ask Questions That Will Help You Succeed in Any Business Situation

The Essential Skill

Find the right questions. You don’t invent the answers, you reveal the answers.
—JONAS SALK


1) How quickly can you be convinced of the virtue of asking better questions? Here are three short arguments.

Questions Help You to Find Focus
In all affairs it’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.
BERTRAND RUSSELL

Questions Help You Become More Flexible
A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.
FRANCIS BACON

Questions Help You Force Action
The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
THOMAS HUXLEY

2) Why Executives and Leaders Need to Ask Better Questions
Reason and judgment are the qualities of a leader.
TACITUS

To Become More Connected to the Organization
What do I know?
MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE

To Create a Motivational Environment
An effective leader will … ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
DALE CARNEGIE

To Encourage the Search for New Questions
Ignorance never settles a question.
BENJAMIN DISRAELI

3) Why Organizations Need to Encourage Better Question Asking
Intelligence is quickness to apprehend.
ALFRED WHITEHEAD

To Become a Learning Organization
The ability to learn faster than your competitors may be the only sustainable competitive advantage.
ARIE DE GEUS

To Encourage Cooperation
An idea is a feat of association.
ROBERT FROST

To Inspire Creativity
Creative thinking may mean simply the realization that there’s no particular virtue doing things the way they always have been done.
RUDOLF FLESCH

To Attract Better Employees
I not only use all the brains I have, but all I can borrow.
WOODROW WILSON

To Become More Efficient
To find the exact answer, one must first ask the exact question.
S. TOBIN WEBSTER

To Support Conflict Resolution
As a general rule, if you want to get at the truth—hear both sides and believe neither.
JOSH BILLINGS


Questions That Work When—You Are Put on the Spot

A) Facing a Conflict

How can positive questions help? They help the parties to the conflict to:
 Start and maintain important contacts.
 Be aware of each other’s attitudes.
 Encourage the expression of reactions.
 Restate and clarify their positions.
 Discover what they have in common.
 Soften their attitudes when meeting the opposition.
 Deal with the inevitable rifts.

ASK THE PERSON:
 Is this a good time for you to listen to me?
 Would you like to talk now?
o Where would you like to talk?
 What’s on your mind?
o I want to understand the concerns you have. Can you give me specifics?
 What may I have misunderstood?
o Is there something that has offended you?
 Can you clarify what you just said?
o What did you mean by those remarks?
 How reliable is this information?
o Who told you?
o Can you confirm that?
 How can I help?
 What do you think?
o Can you explain the connection?
 Do you have any other ideas?
o Okay, what would you say if you were me?
 What would get you to change your mind?
o What would be the best outcome regarding this in your opinion?
 What will this choice produce?
o Are we ready to accept the consequences?
 If you could say whatever you wanted without repercussions or being misunderstood by the other party to make this matter right, what would you say?
 Where would you like this discussion to be at the end of ten minutes?
 Did that answer your question?
o Have I got it right?
 What exactly were you tr ying to accomplish?
o Can you sum up what needs to be done?
 What’s the next item we need to deal with?
o Anything else I need to know as we move for ward?

B) Disagreeing with Another

ASK THE OTHER PERSON:
 Did you consider … ?
 How would your idea … ?
 This is an interesting idea. Where did it come from?
 What would be the star ting point if we were to use your idea?
 Who else needs to be involved before we make a decision on this?
 What would be the biggest obstacle to this idea succeeding?
 Has this idea been tried before?

ASK YOUR BOSS:
 You are the boss, and I respect your position/decision, I just wonder if … ?
 If you tell me to, I will, but could … ?
 Can I use my best judgment on this?
 Can we look at how we communicate and make decisions?
 What can we work out that would make ever yone happy?
 I need to understand this new direction. Can you help me define my priorities?
o What should I be working on first?
• What needs to be done right now?
o Would you like me to do my job well by using my best judgment?
 When presented with a conflict, which assignment do you want me to focus on first?
o Do you want to put some duties on hold or give them to others?
o Can you help me out of my current assignments before I tackle something new?
 If you would like me to work on this, what do I need to know about the future of my current project?
 What specifically do you want me to do?
 Can this assignment be temporary?
 Are there others who are better qualified?
o Do you want me to tackle this on my own?
 Can I have a little time to think about this assignment?

C) Mixing with a Roomful of Strangers

ASK THE OTHER PERSON:
 Can I have your name?
 Where are you from?
 What work do you do?
o How did you get into this line of business?
 Do you have any hobbies?
 I’m curious:
o Can you tell me about … ?
o Can you explain … ?
o What’s your secret for ________ ?
o What do you think about (current general news topic?)
 Have you traveled to any interesting places recently?
 Have you read or been inspired by any great books lately?

D) Needing to Complain

ASK THE CUSTOMER SERVICE PERSON:
 What would you do in my situation?
 What do you think is fair?
 What is the rule you are following?
o What are the exceptions to that rule?
 Can I speak to your supervisor?



For more Information:
Effective Personal Communication Skills, How To Win Any Argument, Appreciative Inquiry, Speaking Your Mind in 101 Difficult Situations

Questions That Work—How to Ask Questions That Will Help You Succeed in Any Business Situation

St. Benedict's Rule for Business Success. Keys to Effective Organization - Harmony, Teamwork, and Stability.

Benedictine Keys to Effective Organization

At the base of this effectiveness we find a number of Benedictine organizational keys—harmony, teamwork, and stability.

A) Harmony
It is the ultimate result of the Rule's obsession with obedience. The English translation of the word obedience implies "adherence in a severe manner." In the Latin root of Benedict's day, it meant, "to listen to."

It is true that Benedict penalized for lack of obedience, but the rationalization was to maintain order and, ultimately, to foster harmony within the community.

Harmony cannot coexist with negativity. No organization can achieve its maximum efficiency if grumbling is wide-spread. Benedict did not suppress problems or personal freedom, but required that they be channeled properly through the organization via the daily "employee" chapter meeting, through mentors or the fatherly advice of the abbott (from the root abba meaning "father"). Benedict focuses in on what most managers avoid—addressing negativity at a personal level. What is lost to today's managers is the impact on productivity and profitability. Any manager who has tried to change knows the crippling power of negativity to bind organizations.

Benedict used a process of discipline and a community spirit to avoid such an organizational breakdown and communal negativity. Of course, Benedict's biblical policy did not promote going directly to the sword but to pursue a policy of "reprove, entreat, and rebuke" (1 Tim 4:2). The real application of Benedict's Rule for managers is not to accept negativity as the norm but to aggressively seek to eliminate it. A manager must address negativity head on, and quickly. Like Benedict, managers must first be open to change and the possibility of a need to correct, but ultimately, if it is more a personality problem, it will require a stronger re-proof. It should be noted that when grumbling came from a widespread organizational problem, Benedict's open community daily counsel (employee involvement) corrected this. Failure to root out single negativity will first be reflected in a lack of organizational harmony, but ultimately, teamwork and stability will suffer.

B) Stability

Stability is at the heart of Benedictine community. Through mutual obedience, a family is created that is the infrastructure of Benedictine community. Community, as a word, has Latin roots meaning, "to eat bread together." The Rule of St. Benedict stresses the importance of coming together on a daily basis. This type of bonding was the foundation of community. Even business organizations require a measure of bonding to be successful. Long term successful organizations have strong social ties among their members. So many times business people overlook this key organizational facet. Socialization is bonding.

Stability is the organizational characteristic of strong bonding. Stability has long been a measure of business organization, and is generally expressed by the turnover rate. Business, however, viewed turnover more as an individual or department managerial measure than as a more global measure of organizational strength. Stability is, in fact, the last indicator of community strength. This is why Benedict promoted that the monk, even on a short journey, should return for the evening meal.

There is a direct equation between individual obedience and loyalty with organizational stability. It is a bond and an organizational consent. Stability flows from mutual obedience and codependency. The early industrialists knew the relationship well.

C) Teamwork

Teamwork is the end result of the Benedictine quest for humility. Teamwork personifies the true spirit of community where self is subservient to the good of the whole. Western managers, in their quest to achieve teamwork, have imposed the culturally foreign concepts of Asian teams. The Asian team concept is one rule of the whole, not one rooted in sacrifice for the overall good. In the Asian concept, it is a duty to suppress self over the team. The Asian concept requires obedience but lacks the root of humility. The Benedictine model offers a democratic team approach based on individual humility and the necessary sacrifice. The Benedictine model does not require consensus of the group, only a belief in community by the group.

The Benedictine team allows for individuality but is focused on the community. The virtue of humility is much lost today. It does not suppress individual achievement but does suppress the use of achievement to control and use as power. Some of the greatest individual craftsmen arose from the Benedictine community. It is humility that gives the individual a perspective of self and a role to build community. Individual ideas are fostered, but ultimately the good of the community is the rule by individual choice.

The Benedictine team is much closer to the American sports team where individual statistics are noted and praised, but self-sacrifice for the good of the team is held in high esteem. Furthermore, self-sacrifice for the team ultimately results in a spirit that actually maximizes individual performance. It is this "spirit" that managers seek in teams. It is this spirit that is the hallmark of high performance organizations.

Benedictine teams are democratic in nature and function. A daily chapter meeting was used at the monastery to voice issues. Ultimately, the chapter was obedient to the abbot, but the abbot was bound by the Rule to take all into decisions. It is this mutual obedience that assured harmony and fostered teamwork. The Rule only created the environment for teamwork; it did not enact it by law. Benedictine teamwork is not a result of a structure—a committee format works as well as a "team." Benedictine teamwork does not require "training" but the creation of a communal spirit. It is the result of managerial actions rather than words. Many companies claim to value teamwork, but such claims are more likely to result in employee jokes rather than increased performance. Great teams, like great sports teams, are obvious. You can feel them in spirit. Their hallmark is a great individual having great humility.

Another characteristic of Benedictine teams is that they equate to community. The push today is to form multiple teams within an organization, which actually can lead to a breakdown in community and overall teamwork. Benedictine teams are totally integrated using committees for more specific problem solving, employee involvement, and administration. Benedictine communities used the daily "team" or chapter meeting to focus on one rule, one community. Committees were used to involve employees and develop a specific focus on an issue. Committees were part of the community, not separate teams as we see in many of today's structures


Applications of the Rule

I. SET RULES AND ENFORCE THEM
Democracies are inherent organizations of laws. Our freedom and unity are established by laws and discipline. In business, an organization's harmony is dependent on mutual obedience and discipline. Rules should be clearly defined and enforced. Use an employee policy manual and train on it with new employees.

2. DEVELOP STABILITY VIA EMPLOYMENT
Stability is the cornerstone of a Benedictine organization. Stability is achieved through social ties and meeting physiological needs. The Japanese have lifelong employment, but American companies have achieved the same effect with a guranteed year in economic hard times. Employees need that type of future stability to develop community or team spirit. Employment stability builds stronger organizations than variety in benefits.

3. IMPROVE ON STABILITY VIA FAMILY
Form strong social ties within the organization. Christmas parties and the like are important to build on. Remember the root of community is "breaking bread." Be generous in company dinners and lunches for retirements, company meetings, etc. where employees eat together. Use an employee social committee to involve people. Another important activity is a family day with picnics and ball games. Most important is to maintain these activities even in hard times. Cutting the budget first in these areas is a direct signal of instability.

4. ZERO TOLERANCE OF NEGATIVITY
Managers today are trained to address negativity being caused by the organization rather than the individual. Early monasteries learned that negativity has individual roots. Negative individuals should be "rebuked and reproved" early. Benedictine obedience for the good of community should be stressed in all training. If this fails, "excommunication" is needed for the good of the organization. Remember the Rule of St. Benedict called for kindness, guidance, and even support of the excommunicated.

5. USE EMPLOYEE COMMITTEES RATHER THAN TEAMS
Benedictine management allows only one team (the community). For specific focus or problem solving, the community chose subchapters as committees. Committees have fallen on hard times in today's "team managed companies." In fact, committees offer a way to involve employees while maintaining the overall team.

6. FORM COMMUNITY VIA OFF-SITE GATHERINGS
Community cannot be built on a nine-to-five schedule. A general "chapter" meeting of all employees every year is one approach to a better working community. A two-to three-day off-site general meeting to set goals, objectives, and renew mission is a great technique to build community.


For more Information:
Business Success, Journey to Excellence, Creating Performance that Endures

St. Benedict's Rule for Business Success. Keys to Effective Organization - Harmony, Teamwork, and Stability.