5 ESSENTIAL SKILLS TO BUILD COLLABORATIVE RELATIONSHIPS. 15 THINGS YOU CAN DO TO IMPROVE YOUR ABILITY TO BE in A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP.

THE FIVE ESSENTIAL SKILLS TO BUILD COLLABORATIVE RELATIONSHIPS

1.     Collaborative intention: individuals stay in the Green Zone, maintain an authentic, nondefensive presence, and make a personal commitment to mutual success in their relationships.

2.     Truthfulness: individuals commit to both telling the truth and listening to the truth, and to creating a climate of openness that allows people in the relationship to feel safe enough to discuss concerns, solve problems, and deal directly with difficult issues.

3.     Self-accountability: individuals take responsibility for the circumstances of their lives and the choices they make, either through action or nonaction, and the intended and unintended or unforeseen consequences of their actions. They would rather find a solution than find someone to blame.

4.     Self-awareness and awareness of others: individuals commit to knowing themselves deeply and are willing to explore difficult interpersonal issues. They seek to understand the concerns, intentions, and motivations of others, as well as the culture and context of their circumstances.

5.     Problem-solving and negotiating: individuals use problem-solving methods that promote a collaborative atmosphere. They avoid practices that foster subtle or unconscious competition.

We’ve given you a map of the terrain, five skills, and new insight for navigating your way into more successful collaborative relationships. We hope you practice your new skills along the way. There is no better way to become more skillful at relationships than to jump in and keep practicing. It will take patience and focus, so keep at it. Don’t be in a rush to gain perfection.

These five skills are lifelong tasks, but it is possible to start anew each day. Your power is in choosing not to be overwhelmed, but to ask, “How can I take a few little steps on this journey today?” If you do that, then tomorrow will take care of itself.

So we end with action you can take today to improve your ability to be in a successful relationship.

FIFTEEN THINGS YOU CAN DO TODAYS IMPROVE YOUR ABILITY TO BE in A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP

1.     Tell your truth. Don’t be afraid to let yourself and others know what your personal truth is.

2.     Realize that you choose. Eagerly accept responsibility for what is happening in your life. Accept that you are responsible for your own happiness, and that only you can make yourself whole.

3.     Seek deeper self-awareness. Reflect, read, discuss, meditate, or involve yourself in any activity that aids your awareness of your old programs and deeper levels of being.

4.     Respond emotionally. Allow yourself to “feel.” Have your feelings rather than letting your feelings have you, or numbing out. Realize that all emotions are acceptable, but not all actions are acceptable.

5.     Give up blame and postpone judgment. We’re all trying our best to get by. Seek to understand what is happening and how you contributed to that. Attempt to listen to and clarify one another’s viewpoints and interests before defending yourself or making others wrong.

6.     Seek not to consciously hurt others. Living in the Red Zone causes others pain and takes a severe toll on the quality of our own life. Consciously living in the Green Zone daily and respecting others adds richness to our lives.

7.     Take time to envision yourself as you want to be. Motivate yourself by thinking about your future, rather than letting yourself be shoved through life by your past. Start being whom you want to be … today.

8.     Consciously change your limiting beliefs. Don’t wait for experience to change them for you.

9.     Assert yourself. Be aware of your boundaries and stand up for yourself. If you don’t, who will?

10. Be as sincere and as vulnerable as possible. Explore being “present” rather than being “right.”

11. Be in touch with your body and its wisdom. Seek alignment and connection with the head, heart, and belly. They have much to tell you if you listen.

12. Seek a higher meaning or purpose in your life. Explore ways to collaborate with others by doing something you are passionate about, in the service of others.

13. Treat your personal growth with respect, excitement, and patience, rather than judgment. Personal growth is a lifelong job. It requires commitment and compassion. Focus each day on becoming your best cheerleader rather than your worst critic.

14. Give to give. Give yourself away daily to purpose, people, places, and things you love. Stop waiting for others to love first, accept you, or make it safe for you.

15. Laugh a little. Some things are much too important to be taken seriously.

5 ESSENTIAL SKILLS TO BUILD COLLABORATIVE RELATIONSHIPS. 15 THINGS YOU CAN DO TO IMPROVE YOUR ABILITY TO BE in A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP.